You Haven’t Failed If You’re Not Married


Just because I’m almost 30 and not married, doesn’t mean I’ll need putting on a shelf anytime soon or that my vagina will shrivel up.

I also don’t own any cats, just in case you were wondering.

It’s a sad state of affairs that a woman’s success is still occasionally measured by the amount of kids she’s churned out or the size of her engagement ring. And what’s even more amusing is the look I’ve sometimes received when I say the words “I’m not sure I want children.”

Yep, I’m a successful 29 year old who isn’t engaged, no plans to marry anytime soon and no current plans to grace this fine world with my offspring. Even though (let’s face it) they would be cute as hell 😉

Oh and I live with one of my best girlfriends and sometimes we eat Pretzels for breakfast. Smashing life over here!

Our generation is paving the way for mental health awareness, a ban on refined sugar and an overall understanding that working 18 hour days doesn’t make you a hero, it makes you sick. So why the rush on settling down with a white picket fence?

My ovaries won’t fail in the meantime people.

As much as I love my partner, I love myself more. I’m still finding out who I am and what I stand for so why rush and put a ring on it? It wouldn’t be fair to me and it certainly wouldn’t be fair to him. We can still do all the fun stuff in the mean time like go to the movies and *hold hands*.

At the risk of sounding cliché I’m a proudly independent woman who most recently changed the fire alarm battery all by herself. Granted I needed to use two cushions and a chair so I could reach but uh, nailed it!

I ADORE the photos I see of school friends marrying but not because I’m pining over the feeling for myself or feel as though i’m missing out. It’s because I know it’s still to come and it’ll be worth the wait. Kinda like that anticipation over losing your virginity but 1,357,065 times better because sex for the first time is a bit funny and not at all what you imagine.

But just to be clear, there is nothing “wrong” with the un-married for not being even CLOSE to settling down. We aren’t lost souls or incomplete, wandering the underworld in our granny pants because we’ve given up on life. We’re courageous and smart and sassy as fuck because we refuse to settle for anything less than extraordinary because we know in our heart of hearts we deserve it.

So in the interim I’ll go about my daily life not weighed down by society’s expectation of me and I’ll do it with flare.

Because this chapter of my life isn’t about marrying my loved one.

It’s about falling even more in love with myself.

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