Aside from once a month when Mother Nature turns me into a raging lunatic I’m actually pretty sane.
But here’s the thing about abusive relationships – you don’t have to be a crazy person to enter into them.
You can come from a loving family home, have good grades, a decent job and heaps of friends but none of that stops you from doing what most of us yearn for in a lifetime.
To fall in love.
And that’s exactly what I did. 18 going on 34, I thought I knew it all. I’d heard about his bad boy reputation and yet I still chose to delve into the darkness and endure a two year mess that would set me on the path to falling out with my parents for quite some time. You see the thing about self esteem is, as much as it can be built up, it can be torn down.
And over time that is exactly what happened.
So I forgave him each time he slept with someone else.
I forgave him when he put his fist through my car windscreen whilst I was driving.
I forgave him when he split my lip.
I forgave him when he ruined my 19th birthday by putting a pint glass in someone’s face.
And I forgave him when he landed himself in prison.
And in all honestly I forgive him for all of the above even now because doing so meant I could move forward.
But with every part of our lives, good or bad, we can choose to take the lesson from it no matter how painful and confronting it might be.
So here’s what I learnt:
1) Drugs will destroy a person. NO EXCEPTIONS.
2) Mental abuse hurts just as much as physical abuse. Sometimes more.
3) No matter how long ago a trauma occurred or how deep down you bury it, there will be times it will resurface. You owe it to yourself to face it head on and not let it beat you.
4) Parents, family, friends; they can only do so much for you in a time of need. The rest is up to you.
5) A negative period in your life does not shape your entire existence.
6) Your darkest, ugliest moments make you stronger, even if it doesn’t feel like it at the time.
7) You can’t change a person, even when you love them.
Life isn’t always smooth sailing filled with Nutella binges and Channing Tatum’s bare arse (you’re welcome for that thought btw!) but it is your life.
So what are you gonna do with it? Who are you gonna be regardless of what obstacles come your way?
Fucking awesome that’s who.