When I was 17 and catching the bus to work I would do this little game where i’d tap one leg once, the opposite leg twice and then finish back up on the other leg once more. This would total a number of four taps.
Four is my favourite number so I would then do this activity three times more. If I didn’t do it each morning I worried something bad would happen to me at work that day.
And this was the start of me thinking I was a bit weird!
Fast forward eight years and a move across the globe later and it wasn’t until a conversation with a good friend who was speaking to a professional about her anxiety which sparked a light bulb moment and I realised “holy shit” – I am anxious!
This is what that feeling is!
All of those times my heart raced so fast I thought it might blow up or my senses became so heightened I thought I just might (might) be the next Spiderman were actually the result of an anxiety disorder.
And here I am at 28 years old (29 next week – what are you getting me for my birthday people???) living with the fact I will always be that person with a busy mind and doing my best to not assume i’m about to get fired because my boss didn’t say good morning or my leg won’t fall off because I broke a nail and might get gangrene.
Seriously, actual thoughts.
Mental Health Week is currently running from the 2nd – 10th October and I urge anyone and everyone to speak up about their experiences. You can read more about it here and from the bottom of my heart I believe that you should.
Mental health isn’t the taboo subject it once was although there is still a way to go before it’s discussed as openly as periods and sex over a coffee with your buddies.
So do your bit to spread a powerful message and remind people that they aren’t alone.
Then buy me a birthday present.