I Must Be Mental


When I was 17 and catching the bus to work I would do this little game where i’d tap one leg once, the opposite leg twice and then finish back up on the other leg once more. This would total a number of four taps.

Four is my favourite number so I would then do this activity three times more. If I didn’t do it each morning I worried something bad would happen to me at work that day.

And this was the start of me thinking I was a bit weird!

Fast forward eight years and a move across the globe later and it wasn’t until a conversation with a good friend who was speaking to a professional about her anxiety which sparked a light bulb moment and I realised “holy shit” – I am anxious!

This is what that feeling is!

All of those times my heart raced so fast I thought it might blow up or my senses became so heightened I thought I just might (might) be the next Spiderman were actually the result of an anxiety disorder.

And here I am at 28 years old (29 next week – what are you getting me for my birthday people???) living with the fact I will always be that person with a busy mind and doing my best to not assume i’m about to get fired because my boss didn’t say good morning or my leg won’t fall off because I broke a nail and might get gangrene.

Seriously, actual thoughts.

Mental Health Week is currently running from the 2nd – 10th October and I urge anyone and everyone to speak up about their experiences. You can read more about it here and from the bottom of my heart I believe that you should.

Mental health isn’t the taboo subject it once was although there is still a way to go before it’s discussed as openly as periods and sex over a coffee with your buddies.

So do your bit to spread a powerful message and remind people that they aren’t alone.

Then buy me a birthday present.



1 comments so far.

One response to “I Must Be Mental”

  1. Ashleigh says:

    Ummm … are you sure we aren’t the same person?! Everything you’ve described I can relate to – from the counting (I do everything 4 times, from tapping, stepping, to eating M&Ms etc etc) and the whole someone not saying something to you so assuming they hate you. And don’t even get me started on big social situations!

    So glad mental health has lost it’s taboo and it’s something we can all talk about. It’s nice to know that something a lot of people including us have battled with for a long time is now becoming a topic of education.

    Great post, girl!

    Ashleigh xx