It has been almost a month since my last post.
My blog has always been a space to write thoughts and put words together in a way that will hopefully enable other females to relate, all whilst putting my own funny/weird/random twist on things. And in many ways it has been my outlet.
Every time I write a post I endeavour to pour a piece of myself and my experiences into it; to be real and honest with no bullsh*t.
But what happens when something is too raw to talk about and we’re scared of the emotions that might come rushing out? Should we shy away or should we be brave and face what’s in front of us so that we can forgive and accept and move on?
I choose the latter.
I once read that anxious people are usually creative and feel everything and everyone around them much harder than any other individual. Recently I have felt this to be truer than ever.
Break ups are painful and frightening and confronting and every other horrendous emotion you can think of. Hurtful things are said and done and two people who love each other in their own way are inevitably left to grieve for something that once was and unfortunately, as much as you want to understand what has happened, sometimes that isn’t always possible. You are left in the dark with your own emotions and questions and just have to get on with it as best you can.
And as I write this post with a glass of wine in my hand and the knot in my stomach that hasn’t left me for weeks, I hope that this will resonate with even just one girl out there and offer some comfort when the time comes in her life to let something go even though it crushes her.
I wish I could give you a step by step manual to mend a broken heart. Unfortunately there is no end date to work towards when it comes to waking up and no longer having an ache that runs through your entire body.
But I can tell you this much.
Break down to your Mum and soak up the words that only a parent can give.
Lean on friends and cry until your eyes are sore.
Ask your friend at work to stay the night because being alone is too much to tolerate.
Eat chocolate for dinner because the popping candy makes you that little bit happy.
Buy new bedding because you need something that is yours and yours only.
Light up your home with bright candles because a friend suggested a new smell is just what the doctor ordered.
Accept words of courage from your yoga instructor or take comfort in advice from a person who went through the same thing and understands what it means to be away from family at a time like this.
Socialise to the point of exhaustion so that sleeping becomes easy again.
Drink wine to help soothe the upset that rises up when you do the washing and a sock falls out of the pile that isn’t yours.
Embrace the emotional rollercoaster where any single day can include random bouts of sobbing, laughing with friends and a sadness that exhausts you.
Work harder on yourself than you ever have before because ultimately the only person who can make you truly happy is you.
Crack yourself open, take a deep breath and get ready to do it all over again until eventually the pain is no more and replaced with the excitement of what your future now holds.
Do all of these things and then some because the right way to get over a break up is YOUR WAY. A day at a time and forever moving forward.
Because occasionally in life, baring your soul to someone ultimately means letting them take a piece of it with them when they leave.
And that’s the risk you take when you fall in love.