33 Reasons You’re Getting Old

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1) It’s harder to make friends in a new place. No longer can you exchange a school yard snack and be besties  #BFF4EVA

2) You don’t neck Lambrini only to throw it up an hour later. A quality red is purchased because you quite literally need it after a busy week.

3) A clean home makes you feel fucking brilliant.

4) You prefer a weekend in Rome over a week in Ayia Napa. One is oh so cultural now.

5) You find yourself showing off the new cabinet or duvet set you just picked up at IKEA. So hip.

6) You eat a lot of smoked salmon and avocado. You even enjoy it.

7) You understand that the word “interest” holds more meaning that just what a person enjoys in their spare time.

8) Watching your savings build up makes you feel like superwoman. Gone are the days of living on the breadline after blowing all of your wages on a new wardrobe. The BF now pays for that. Cheeky.

9) No more foundation line on the jaw. Or your Mum rubbing it in for you.

10) Being asked for ID makes you happy.

11) You always have at least one friend on a diet.

12) You no longer get excited about choosing a new school pencil case at the beginning of term but instead, look for the funkiest colour stapler you can find for your desk.

13) You can cook a roast, iron AND watch your favourite TV show all at once.

14) Occasionally outfits have to be questioned. Daisy Dukes have an age restriction people.

15) The OC finished it’s last season almost 10 years ago. A DECADE!!!!

16) The thought of those thick stripy highlights you once raved about in school make you want to die, stamp on your hair and then die again.

17) Gone are the posters of N Sync and Backstreet Boys and in are the canvasses of some sunset you once liked and Audrey Hepburn. Justin I still love you.

18) Receiving a new candle or scented sticks is like the best gift. EVER!

19) Getting your boobs and vagina out is no longer embarrassing. Between your waxing, antenatal and massage appointments they’re being flopped out left, right and centre.

20) You have seen many a penis at hen’s dos and can recite several different baby shower games.

21) It’s no longer reputation suicide to hang out with your parents. Chances are their social lives are busier than yours.

22) The smell of a new washing powder is just so delightful. You probably mention the change in brand to your friends too.

23) It’s a no to sparkly or glitter eye shadow.

24) Unless it’s for a fancy dress gathering and then the era is one that happened in your lifetime. Fuck.

25) Watching the boyfriend wash up is like soft porn.

26) You don’t think twice about staying back at work to remain organised. Previously hell would have froze over first.

27) You realise you truly were a little shit to your parents all those years!

28) You can’t keep up with all the new lingo these days. Is crunk a type of snack??

29) Your cousin, whose face you once burnt whilst straightening her hair when babysitting, now has bigger breasts than you. Her milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.

30) You have that weekly struggle carrying all of your shopping bags from the car to the door. Anything to avoid making two trips. Worst.

31) Perky boobs must be purchased.

32) It’s like Christmas come early when you see a food you like on special.

33) Night’s out provoke the question; comfy shoes or pretty shoes?

 

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4 comments so far.

4 responses to “33 Reasons You’re Getting Old”

  1. Sim says:

    hahah I love these! I can’t even pick a favourite one out nice one