1) Nando’s don’t sell mash worldwide. Or offer their dessert menu. Furious.
2) Sand burns your feet and makes you do this weird tap dance. Once in your car it sets up camp and breeds more sand.
3) Not all Aussie boys walk around with their tops off like in Home and Away and the ones that do are less than fortunate looking. Or forgot leg day.
4) Burger King is called Hungry Jacks. Their chocolate thick shake is the bomb.
5) Kangaroos do not, I repeat NOT roam around the streets and live in your garden.
6) Also you are just as unlikely to have a dolphin as a pet as you are in England. Dam it.
7) Aussies LOVE coffee – it’s their jam!
8) No one really says “throw another shrimp on the barbie!”.
9) Sausages are called snags.
10) 45 degrees is not living the dream. It is living in the air conditioning. Or the Serengeti.
11) Landscape pictures are just standard now. #beach #perth #park #mylife
12) The evening news is no longer about a Teacher’s strike or snow closing down airports. It’s all sharks, bush fires and that person who climbed onto a dead whale.
13) Swimming in the ocean comes with the risk of losing your bikini if you get dunked. And sand going in some places.
14) Leaving your packed lunch in the car is not a mistake you can afford to make. Ever.
15) People own shoes but don’t always like to wear them.
16) A true Summer experience is waking up in the early hours of the morning to shower off the pool of sweat you have just been sleeping in. Delicious.
17) That shopping trip before you moved over where you spent hundreds on new outfits for your cool new life? Yeah that was a waste of time. You live in the same pair of shorts and singlets now.
18) Gaining a few kilos when your social life goes from hero to zero is understandable. What else is there to do but eat every McFlurry flavour on a Friday night?
19) Google Maps either becomes your best friend or breaks you down into a flood of tears when it doesn’t account for a road block in the city.
20) Your true friendships aren’t affected by distance or time difference.
21) Maths really does come in handy all those years later. “So 50 in Australian dollars is what in english pounds??”.
22) Flies. I really hate them.
23) Aussies use the word “but” at the end of a sentence and it gets me every time. BUT WHAT?!?!?!?!?
24) Chocolate. Is. Shit.
25) But now the ice cream man comes to my work each day so yeah. That.
26) I would rather blow my own face off then have another glitchy Skype video convo. Or pay to use the phone. Less dramatic.
27) Water moves so fast, it’s hard to figure out if it really does go the other way around when you flush the toilet.
28) Best decision ever.