Dear Me

Dear 15 year old Emma,

It’ll be ok. Life isn’t quite what it seems yet.

I know right now it seems as though your whole life is school and the people around you are the only ones you’ll ever know but I promise this won’t be the case forever. Clothes really aren’t what makes a person who they are. Your reputation right now will be worthless in less than a years time and that girl you don’t like? Divorced with kids before she’s 30 #justsaying.

That night you cried because you fell out with your friend and felt like the whole world had swallowed you up? Well you move to Australia one day and create a whole new life for yourself. By yourself. And you love it. But more important than that? You’re ok with being alone at times because you like who you are as a person and want to spend time with Emma.

Your Facebook friends list is going to go down because that large number of faces you never communicate with other than a “like” every few months is not going to define you as a person. The girls who make you laugh and talk about periods and bowel movements are. These people will become like family to you and you’ll have a giggle about the time you cried for days because your friend at school told another friend that you had a camel toe.

And your first love? The one who showed you what awkward sex, storybook love and heartbreak was in the space of 2 years; he’ll meet the one for him and you’ll feel this sense of warmth. You’ll laugh at the dramatic bonfire you threw in the garden which saw the end of each letter and photo that had any remote attachment to the relationship. Perhaps even a little embarrassed at the beheading of the Valentines bear. What did it ever do to you??

Mum really is trying her best to teach you to grow up with some morales and teach you about life. She wasn’t being unreasonable when she refused your request for an extended curfew of 10pm, you were lucky she let you out in that skirt. Saying she’d ruined your life was probably oh so slightly dramatic and the diary entry that soon followed.

Embrace your individuality and don’t beat yourself up so much if you don’t “fit in”. The Adidas popper look isn’t for everyone and it’ll be the gypsy skirt next week anyways. Carry on enjoying your horse riding and forget about makeup. Mac is going to near on bankrupt you in the near future.

Try not to forget about your family. Yes they can be a bit embarrassing at times and Mum has a lot to answer for about that fringe but give them a hug every so often, maybe the washing up. You’ll be living in your own home one day and cleaning up a boys pants so trust me, you’ve got it easy right now.

Those puppy fat kilos are going to come off so don’t be too hard on yourself. Perhaps start accepting now though that five 10p sausages are not the way to go on your morning break. Throw a piece of fruit in there. Soon you’re going to Instagram the shit (sorry for swearing) out of each meal you make so why not get in some practise.

That weird feeling you get inside your stomach, the one that feels like butterflies? That’s ok, you’re still finding your feet at life and sometimes you’ll mess up. I know I still do now. Don’t feel like you have to have it together all of the time because perfect is boring. Be a beautiful mess at times.

Oh and one more thing. Make the choice to be happy. You only get this one life so choose to live it well.

Lots of love,

28 year old (almost got it together at times) Emma xxxx

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